Last night I was feeling all the feels.
I was exhausted, confused and heartbroken, trekking home from the store, weighed down by a heavy backpack of groceries.
I starting thinking about grabbing a bottle of wine to lift some heaviness off my shoulders… which led me to consider ice cream.
My binge plans started to roll. I thought about going to the deli and picking up a box of cookies, maybe a candy bar. Really going to town and breaking all my rules about intuitive eating and listening to my body. No one will know! I’ll go home and have a break-the-rules feast and go back to being an empowered eater tomorrow.
I saw a deli up ahead and thought about all the yummy treats inside. All the things I could buy to give me a moment of relief.
In front of the deli were some beautiful flowers. Roses. As I approached them, I asked the roses in my mind, “What do you have to tell me?”
I bent over to smell them, and they were soooo delicious. I inhaled a sweet, otherworldly fragrance and was suddenly at ease.
“Be sweet to yourself,” I heard.
Binges only work if we are willing to be mean to ourselves. The self-loathing and guilt we experience as a result of a binge serve to distract us from the harsh reality of what’s truly going on in our lives.
When we are sweet to ourselves, we allow space for our emotions to simply be without changing them, so we can get to the bottom of what's really going on. When we lose the willingness to be mean to ourselves, bingeing simply doesn’t work anymore.
I bought the rose instead of the ice cream, cookies, candy, and wine, and brought it home with me. I made a delicious, healthy dinner, took a bath, and went to bed.
I’m so grateful for this sweet reminder from a flower to be gentle and kind to myself. To open myself up to the loveliness of life, of this moment, and of myself.
So I’m sending this message to you in case you are having a rough day and need a reminder to be sweet to yourself.