Most women who struggle with disordered eating or hating their bodies think there's something terribly wrong with them.
Most of these women are also highly perceptive, sensitive, and have access to the truth in ways that wasn't always welcome in their families.
They've learned to mistrust their gut instincts, their feeling sense.
Because others ridiculed their sensitivities and feelings, they began to hate themselves and their feelings. Food is such an amazing way to not have to feel anymore. To numb out so we no longer have to feel threatened or judged by the way we feel.
If you look around, you'll see it's normal to be numb in today's world. If this wasn't the case, we wouldn't have created the world we live in.
In my own process of re-sensitization, I am feeling just how painful the modern world can be on our bodies (and our souls). Walking on concrete, breathing in car exhaust, being inundated with ads... Just making our way down the street can be painful.
As uncomfortable as it is to open up our feeling sense, we need to feel in order to make a positive change in our world. We need to snap out of the numbed out stupor we've put ourselves into and acknowledge where we are. Yes, it's uncomfortable. Yes, it's really hard. It's so much easier to stay in Plato's cave than come into the blinding light.
If you are truly desiring to heal the way you relate to food and your body, the first step is to realize that there's nothing wrong with you. You are not broken. You are simply coping with an extremely uncomfortable world in the best way you know how. And somewhere along the line, you bought into the misbelief that your feelings—plus your hunger and fullness cues—weren't right. That the way you perceived the world was wrong.
I'm here to tell you that you ARE right. That you no longer need to doubt your feelings. They are your access to the truth—truth which may be hard for others to bear. Bravery is necessary. Community is necessary. Find your tribe, connect with others on the path to feeling again, and make a commitment to yourself, on this powerful day of setting intentions (the new moon), to allow yourself to FEEL and to TRUST what you feel again.
If you want some support or just a listening ear, I am here. I am about to co-lead my first retreat in Queenstown, NZ tomorrow (woot woot!), so I have limited availability this month. Reserve your spot in advance for a free first time 1x1 session with me.
It is possible to heal and retrain yourself to feel on your own, but the temptation to return to comfort and numbness in the face of the state of our planet is great. Offer yourself a gift of connecting with another sister who's been on this path for a long time.